The Often Invisible Boundary: Personal Space

When we think about boundaries, most of us picture conversations where we have to say no, or moments when we decide how to spend our time and energy. These are important. But there’s another kind of boundary—often overlooked, and often denied—that is just as vital: personal space.

In countless households, women don’t even have a corner that is theirs alone—a room to decorate as they like, a desk that isn’t communal, a chair where no one leaves their jacket, a surface that isn’t claimed by someone else’s belongings. A space to pause, reflect, create, or simply be without interruption.

Often women don’t even have a corner that is theirs alone—a room to decorate as they like

When we lack physical space of our own, it becomes harder to feel entitled to time and energy that are ours, too. Boundaries, then, are not only about saying no to others—they’re about saying yes to carving out environments that reflect and restore us.

Why Personal Space Matters

Personal space is more than a luxury—it’s a tangible reminder of self-worth. A corner, a desk, or even a single shelf can act as a physical boundary that says: I exist here. My needs and identity are valid. This is mine.

Without it, many women find their presence is always in service of others—partners, children, family, or work. Homes may be filled with love, yet every surface seems to whisper of someone else’s needs. That’s why replenishment often happens only when no one else is around, or outside the home altogether—at yoga classes, art workshops, retreats, or the gym.

How unfair that rest and restoration so often require escape, rather than being supported within the walls of our own homes. A safe corner to pause, to breathe, to trust that we won’t be interrupted, shouldn’t be a luxury.

Creating Personal Space as a Boundary

Not everyone has the privilege of a separate room, but boundaries don’t need to be large to be meaningful. Even something small—a chair by the window, a basket of art supplies, a bedside table with a journal—can become a sanctuary.

What matters is the intention. When you claim space for yourself, you’re reinforcing the message: I’m allowed to exist apart from my roles. I’m allowed to replenish myself. I’m allowed to take up space.

A Gentle Invitation

If you don’t currently have a space of your own, start small. Look around your home and ask:

• Is there a chair, a windowsill, or a corner you can claim?

• Could you place an object, a candle, or a plant there that reminds you it’s yours?

• What small ritual—reading, journaling, pausing with a cup of tea—could anchor it as your space?

It doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be yours.

For those that would like to learn more I run zoom workshop "Boundaries that stick" in which we will explore different angles of looking at boundaries. Think of yourself as carrying a backpack filled with essentials. Inside are your hours in a day, your mental clarity, your emotional warmth, your creativity, your physical energy. Every time someone asks for something you’re dipping into that backpack. Without boundaries, it’s easy to hand out those resources until the bag feels empty. With boundaries, you decide: Where do I want these resources to go? What do I want to invest them in?

Learn more about workshops here.

Learn more about me here