Recovery After Narcissistic Abuse

Whether it was a partner, a parent, or someone else close to you — being in a relationship where your needs were ignored, your boundaries didn’t matter, or everything somehow became your fault can leave deep emotional scars.

You may not even be sure what to call it. But you know something felt off. You felt small, confused, or like you were constantly trying to be “enough.”

That’s where recovery begins — not with having all the answers, but with a quiet knowing that something needs to change. Recovery is not linear, but below are some of the common stages people move through.

It is worth discovering what's on another side

1. Making Sense of It All

“Was it really that bad?”

At first, there’s often a fog. You might feel guilty, unsure, or even wonder if you’re being dramatic. This is a common response — minimising your pain was likely part of how you survived.

Recovery starts by gently creating space to explore what happened, without judgment. You don’t need perfect words or a neat story. You just need to begin.

2. Naming the Patterns

“Oh... that was gaslighting.”

The moment of recognition can be both painful and liberating. You may start to notice behaviours like manipulation, blame-shifting, or walking on eggshells.

Learning terms like gaslighting, trauma bonding, narcissistic rage, or emotional neglect doesn’t box you in — it gives you clarity. And with clarity, self-trust slowly returns.

3. Building and Holding Boundaries

“I can say no. I’m allowed to take up space.”

Boundaries can feel terrifying if you were taught they weren’t allowed. Together, we work on recognising your limits — emotional, physical, mental — and learning how to hold them with less guilt and fear.

Whether that means going low contact, no contact, or shifting how you respond, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

4. Grieving What Was (and What Wasn’t)

“I wish it had been different.”

Part of recovery is grief. Not just for the relationship itself, but for the love you longed for and never truly received. For the years you spent doubting yourself.

This grief deserves space. It’s not weakness — it’s part of reclaiming your truth.

5. Rebuilding Your Self

“I’m learning to hear my own voice again.”

Recovery isn’t about becoming someone new — it’s about remembering who you were before you were told to shrink.

You begin to reconnect with your own needs, values, and intuition. Your voice, once silenced or doubted, starts to feel steady again.

6. Moving Forward

“It doesn’t control me anymore.”

Slowly, you notice subtle shifts. Red flags stand out more clearly. You hold boundaries with greater ease. Other people’s moods or expectations no longer shake you as much.

This is recovery: not a single breakthrough, but a series of lasting changes that help you live with more freedom and authenticity.

Final Note

Recovering after narcissistic abuse takes courage. It’s not linear, and you don’t have to do it alone. With support, compassion, and space to grow, healing becomes possible — one subtle shift at a time.

If any of this resonates, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you in your recovery. I'm offering counselling services here in Perth, WA or via zoom. Learn more about me or Book free 15 min zoom consultation now:

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